More To Be Done

Since finishing chemo mid-July, we've been enjoying life being a little less crazy.  I've started trying to work my way back to normal, and slowly but surely, my energy is returning.  The blog has been quiet because up until we met with my doctor on Tuesday to find out the results from last week's PET scan, there really wasn't anything to report.

But now I wish I didn't have an update to give.  I'm getting really tired of delivering bad news.

My tumor is not gone.

We don't know what the path forward is yet.  My doctor is sending me for a second opinion, but we have to wait for insurance approvals before we can even make that appointment, which means it's back to the waiting game.

I'm at peace with the situation.  I may not get a say in the hand I've been dealt, but I do get to choose how to play it.  So we will deal with whatever comes next, just like we have in the past.   We'll take things one day at a time.  I'll have bad days and there will be times when everything feels impossible again.  But we'll keep going and we'll make it through.

Do you remember my favorite quote about being braver than we expect? (It's at the top of the blog if you don't.)  I used to view this as a reminder of what I could aspire to; it was about possibility and encouragement and self-improvement.  I was afraid, but there was still hope, because I could be braver.  But after this news, I realized just how much I have grown - now it is a reminder of who I am; it is about achievement and reflection and pride.  I may still be afraid, but now I know:

I am braver.