Hair

... for just this morning right there on her pillow

was the cruelest of any surprise

and she cried when she gathered it all in her hands

the proof that she couldn't deny ...

My hair started falling out this morning.  I cried.  More than once.

This hit me harder than I had expected.  I knew that it was coming and I thought that I was ready.  But it is one thing to talk about losing your hair and it is a completely different thing to be experiencing it.  To see it coming out in my hands as I tried to style my hair this morning was awful, and I was not prepared for how much this upset me.

I feel really good right now physically (pretty much normal, actually), which made this harder to handle.  Even knowing that it would happen, I guess there was a small part of my brain that thought maybe it wouldn't because I was feeling so well.  Starting off the day so emotionally drained was hard.

So this afternoon, I went out and bought a bunch of hats to cheer myself up :)

I will probably cry about this again as it keeps falling out.  I will probably cry whenever I just cut the rest of it off.  I will probably cry about being bald at least once.

But each time, I will pick myself up.  Or my family will pick me up.  Or my friends will.

And I will keep going.
And I will get through it.
Because to me, that is just what you do.